There were 2101 deaths from suicide registered in Australia in 2005 which was up by two from the previous year (2098). These figures reported by the Australia Bureau of Statistics showed us that of these 2101 lives ending, nearly 80% of those were men.
In our nation five men a day take their own life. In the luckiest county in the world this fact is appalling. In any country in the world this fact would be appalling. What are we doing about it?
Imagine if five whales a day beached themselves on Australian beaches? There would be a national outcry. We would brand it a “disaster”, “disgraceful” or “outrageous” and demand Governments step in and produce a solution. In August 2008 Colin (or Collette?) the whale became famous after being abandoned by his mother in Pittwater on the Northern Beaches of Sydney. After a week of watching and wondering what to do the whale was put down and it was heralded a “National Tragedy.” When one whale dies in such confusing and seemingly avoidable circumstances people of all ages take to the streets and demand action to be taken.
But with five males taking their lives each day where are the people lining up with make shift milking devices to feed and nourish those of our own species when they most need it? What are we doing to stop this tragedy?
While there are community groups doing outstanding work in suicide prevention I wish the media would use its influence to highlight their endeavours rather than give precious air time to whales trying to suckle boats or young Hollywood causing meaningless fuss. But perhaps media agencies give the audience what they want, and public interest in suicide prevention is not what we have on our breakfast television menu? The conversation or should I say the silence that exists around this issue conveys a message that perhaps we don’t care enough?
I find it baffling that 80% of suicides are male. We saw recently an Australian Television Star end his life after battling depression. Many teenagers long for media stardom and recognition with the prospect of a high paying job and the celebrity life. Yet even those young men and women who attain such status don’t find the meaning and value we all crave. We must teach our young men that it is not ‘doing’ your desired career that fulfills us, but it is ‘being’ the great man we were created to be that enables us to survive and thrive. We are after all, human beings, not human doings.
In todays society there are boys who are confused about what it means to be a man. With so many varied archetypes presented mostly through the media, how do young men choose what to be, and why in fact should they have to?
There are so many varied forms of manhood to choose from. Metrosexual to Alpha Male; from Emo to Hacker; from Androgynous to Adonis, the choice it seems is endless. Marketers go to great lengths to personify what they believe to be the perfect male, whether that is the Calvin Klein image of David Beckham or the waif looking male model.
The journey becomes no easier as they get older.
Images of fathers are often portrayed through themes such as Homer Simpson; the beer obsessed negligent parent or Al Bundy; the weak, goofy wife mat. In fact the media largely portray fathers as buffoons with no idea how to participate in the family as a real genuine father. The hilarity of fatherhood continues as dads supposedly send their young son home in a taxi while they cram their car with bargains from their local automotive store. Then those dads that are functioning well are portrayed as super hero’s, making it seem such figures are extraordinary, not normal or attainable for the average man.
All this can leave young men in a state of flux which is further exacerbated as a clear of rite of passages from boyhood to manhood does not exist. How do boys make the transformation from boy to man? Can they learn from their fathers or other male role models? Unfortunately for many, they can’t. The absent father syndrome and seemingly chronic low intakes of male teachers in Australian Schools gives some boys few or no role models to emulate in their own journey to manhood. Is it any wonder why boys are finding themselves left out in the cold and lose their way with risk taking behaviour and undisciplined living?
The old adage that you are a male by birth and man by choice remains more relevant today than ever. We must question however, are their adequate resources and role models available to our young men to help them make the right choices to enable them to become the man they desire to be?
It is for this reason I created our Oxygen Factory seminar ‘Men of Honour.’ It exists to help boys navigate this road from boyhood to manhood and be strong and courageous to withstand the bumps and obstacles. ‘Men of Honour’ generates the conversation that needs to be started in every male locker room around the country but with a positive male role model present.
Never has a conversation been carried out in such a frank and candid manner. By the sounds of those who have heard it the message is causing a stir.
By Glen Gerreyn
